Curmuncheon

Some blank slates are meant to be written upon. Some are meant to be left pristine, looking like the glint off a sharp blade sounds in cartoons. This is relevant because today's quick perusal of Tastespotting yielded, among others, the following bread pudding variants:

• "chai spiced maple pumpkin"
• "crockpot (????) tiramisu"
• "goat milk with mapled rhubarb" (the goat milk actually sounds good, but when did maple become a verb?)
• "apple pie pumpkin spice" (FALL WORDS, EVERYBODY!)

Sorry, kids, get off my lawn. All I want in my bread pudding, aside from bread, is sugar, milk, eggs, vanilla, maybe raisins, and maybe cinnamon, plus a sauce containing alcohol. Talk About Good and Talk About Good II have unsullied Louisiana recipes for bread pudding as it should be.

Bread pudding, adapted from Talk About Good II
1 loaf French bread, preferably a day old
1 quart milk
4 eggs (5 if you like an eggier pudding)
1/3 c white sugar
2 tsp vanilla
pinch salt
Butter for pan, plus extra for top (1-2 tbsp)
Optional: 1/2 c raisins
Optional: 1/2 tsp cinnamon

Preheat an oven to 350 and butter a shallow baking dish. Whisk together the milk, eggs, sugar, vanilla, and salt. Tear the bread into small chunks and stir it in, along with the cinnamon and raisins if you're going there. Allow to sit until the bread has swollen and absorbed some of the liquid. Dump everything into the buttered baking dish. Slice the remaining butter and distribute over the surface; you can also sprinkle on more cinnamon if you wish. Bake 30-40 minutes or until the pudding is just set and the top is crispy.

Whiskey (or rum) sauce
1 packed cup light brown sugar
1/2 cup half-and-half or heavy cream
5 tbsp butter
pinch salt
3 tbsp whiskey or bourbon, or 1 1/2 tsp rum extract
Optional: 1/2 tbsp orange zest

Whisk together all ingredients over medium-low heat until combined. Raise heat slightly and bring to a low boil. Cook 5 minutes or until thickened to desired consistency. Serve warm over warm pudding.