Not as anticipated

This month was intended to convince me that I didn't want to go into emergency medicine. Unfortunately I'm having a great time so far. Maybe it's just that I'm finally back in the hospital. Step 1 and, to some extent, Sandy, had led to serious atrophy of my talkingtopatientsorius*. Bellevue is up and running--mostly**--and the Bellevue ER is about as much patient contact as a girl could ask for. Sure, we get more than our share of angry drunk people, but after only a week of shifts I've already seen an impressive and intriguing breadth of pathology, I&D'd an abscess and packed another one, ultrasounded and put a line in a viable vein in a drug user, and generally stretched my differential wings. And worn pajamas to work every day. Scrub blue brings out my eyes, man!

I put this faux quiche together relatively quickly--I've been cooking during the day in time to do my shifts at night--using a recipe from the New York Times and substituting leeks for onions. And putting a little buckwheat flour into the crust. I should have known that the promise of a waistline-friendly quiche-like substance was too good to be true. The stuff tasted great, but even after baking for 5 minutes over the maximum time and risking a burned crust, the filling broke down when I cut into it. After sitting in the fridge overnight, it firmed up nicely. Maybe it just has to be eaten cool? Either way, the creamy texture is great, and it makes me feel virtuous.

*Every med student's favorite muscle.
**I'm way too attached to this place, clearly, because I turn into a soppy mess whenever I think about what happened and how good it is to see the hospital springing back.

Sugarpie, honeybunch

Good luck getting that song out of your head for the rest of the day. If you don't know it, you're welcome.

No excuses for not posting over the past several days. I've been so busy sleeping 10 hours a night and watching awful amounts of Star Trek and cramming my gullet and reading numerous books. I finally picked up A Better Angel by Chris Adrian, with whom I am now mildly obsessed. He's a physician-scholar-author with a bizarre, sinister style like no other. Read this interview with him, then go out and read A Better Angel or The Children's Hospital while I binge-read the rest of his oeuvre. Next stop is Hans Fallada's Wolf Among Wolves.

Food of interest: a rustic mushroom tart (delicious, probably because of all the butter), many salads (delicious despite exiguous butter) and a bruschetta of fava beans with blood orange vinaigrette (also tasty, but unwieldy to eat).

No recipe needed: puree some freshly cooked favas with lemon juice,
salt, pepper, garlic, and a little cooking liquid. Spread on toast. Top with
slices of blood orange and arugula and dressing made with blood orange.
Actually, make a sandwich with eat, because eating this was impossible.

Mmm, cheese and butter. Also mushrooms.

And then there was licorice. Did you know that licorice, if made with all-natural flavoring, can cause hypokalemia and metabolic alkalosis? This is now pertinent to my life because I have eaten so much of this. In honor of my likely death by arrhythmia, I give you something I haven't done in a long time:

Komm, süßer Tod, Part VII: Philip II of Macedon

Licorice root has a number of medicinal qualities, actually. It contains glycyrrhizin and phytoestrogens, and has a number of physiological effects both proven and homeopathically touted. In fact, Alexander the Great may have given it to his troops to sate their thirst during long marches. How did Alexander the Great come to power, you ask? I'll tell you!

It all started with a somatophylax named Pausanias, who was at first content to watch over Alexander's father Philip II as he captured his way around the Mediterranean. Unfortunately, in 336 BCE, something went wrong. Accounts vary; my personal favorite is that Philip II cast aside Pausanias as his lover in favor of a younger, handsomer man named Pausanias. Whatever the cause, Philip was headed into the theater--what is it with theaters and murders of public figures?--when Pausanias pounced and stabbed him in the chest. The assassin immediately turned and ran; he theoretically could have made it to his horse and escaped, had this clumsiest of killers not tripped over a root and thus gotten himself speared to death (and crucified post-mortem). Thus did Alexander ascend to power on the back of Philip II's numerous accomplishments.

I thought cutting it into little squares instead of big twists would limit my consumption of it, but this stuff is just way too good. I modified this recipe simply by omitting the food coloring* (thus the chocolatey brown color) and using honey with a little molasses added to it instead of dark corn syrup. Oh, and I gave it a generous sprinkle of sea salt while I was cooling. All in all, 10/10, would make and devour again. Maybe I'll use buckwheat honey and orange extract next time. One other warning: while I suspect my thermometer is improperly calibrated**, boiling the mixture to precisely 265 degrees F gave me a tougher candy than I expected.

*I swear to god no grocery stores in New York carry this stuff. To find the red coloring for the cupcakes and cookies, I went to no fewer than four grocery stores (thanks, Food Emporium), and I distinctly remember noting that they only carried the typical four-color packs and big bottles of red. No black.
**If anyone else has a digital thermometer and would like to help me check on this, let me know!

Deluxe

I like leisure. This is probably not the best attribute for a medical student to have. But my day was so extravagant! I woke up at ten, ate a cupcake for breakfast, meandered to Bobst for a few books*, wandered downtown for awhile, and came home to execute a multi-component dish: charred octopus and squid over fresh orecchiette with a corn sauce. None of the pictures of the final dish recorded on my SD card, somehow, so you'll have to take my word that the charred seafood and lemon against the pasta with a sprinkling of green parsley is just gorgeous. I really wanted some big, thick octopus tentacles, but the gentleman at Fairway's fish section said that he could only sell me multiple baby octopi or one enormous 5-pound octopus. Maybe if I try the farmer's market fish stand or Essex Street Market I'll have better luck.

And then, the orecchiette. According to The Geometry of Pasta, these "little ears" are 0.68 in x 2.5 (at the thickest point) mm** in size and are best served with "scarce, oily sauces" containing "chunky bits." Their importance to me lies chiefly in the fact that I can handmake them without the aid of the pasta maker I cannot yet afford***. Here's what it looks like when done by an expert. Mine were less than perfect, but I improved from my initial attempts!

The pasta

The sauce

I'm really upset about that technological mishap! It took me ages to perfectly position those tentacles...

Recipe that I haven't thought up a good name for yet
Try fresh basil on this and let me know how it goes! I wish I'd thought to buy some before I started cooking.

10 oz orecchiette (Fresh is best. Recipe to follow.)
1 lb cephalopods of some variety
2 ears corn
32 oz broth: this needs to be good, and not too salty. If wine hasn't been used to make it, add a little white wine while braising the seafood. I used a homemade roasted vegetable and mushroom broth.
2 cloves roasted garlic,smashed
Optional: 1.5 tbsp butter
1 bay leaf
salt
pepper
toasted pine nuts
crushed red pepper
chopped parsley
5-6 olives, sliced
5-6 slices of lemon

Reserve a small amount of the broth. Bring the remainder--with added wine if necessary--to a boil. Add the cephalopods and reduce to a simmer. Cook, turning down the heat as necessary to prevent a frank boil, until the seafood is tender; the duration will depend on how thick the legs are, but 30 minutes to an hour should be sufficient. Drain immediately and set aside.

Meanwhile, make the sauce. Remove the kernels from one cob, scraping the cob afterwards to get the remaining kernels and liquid out. Add the reserved broth and puree with a stand mixer (or something). Strain and squeeze the solids to extrude as much liquid as possible. Heat the cherry tomatoes, smashed garlic, and bay leaf in the liquid, adding more broth or water as necessary to keep it from over-reducing, until the cherry tomatoes are soft and wrinkled; taste halfway through and remove the bay leaf when enough bay flavor has been imparted. The sauce should be starchy and creamy, but not too thick, by the time the tomatoes are done. Add the kernels from the second cob just at the end. Remove from heat, salt and pepper to taste (keeping in mind that you'll be adding olives later) and set aside.

These next steps should be coordinated such that all components are completed at vaguely the same time. Get a pot of salted water ready to cook the pasta. Heat a heavy skillet (e.g. cast iron) coated with a thin layer of olive oil. I put mine in the oven at 500 degrees first, then put it over high heat. Add the drained cephalopods and char on all sides; it will take 3 to 5 minutes to get a nice, brown crust. Similarly, char the lemon slices on each side. While this is going on, cook and drain the pasta; toss it with a tiny bit of olive oil.

Warm the sauce and as an optional step, monter au beurre. Slowly add the butter to the sauce, stirring just until it's melted. This will thicken the sauce and make it taste extra luxurious, because butter.

Put some pasta in a bowl and top with sauce, toasted pine nuts, and sliced olives. Add pieces of seafood and sprinkle parsley and crushed red pepper over it. Garnish with charred lemon, which should be squeezed over the whole dish. It really needs that zingy touch, so if you don't want to char the lemon, still be sure to squeeze fresh lemon over it.

Orecchiette
7 oz semolina flour
2.8 oz room-temperature water

Make a well in the center of the semolina and pour in the water. Mix with your hands until it comes together and knead until the dough is soft, smooth, and springy, but not sticky. This should take around 10 minutes. Wrap in plastic wrap and let rest for 30 minutes to an hour. When you're ready to shape the pasta, tear off about a quarter of the dough and keep the rest wrapped up. Roll the dough into a 1/2-inch-diameter snake and cut 1/2-inch-long chunks. Smear on the table with a knife (or your thumb) and invert over your other thumb to make the "little ears." Watch a video to see how it's done. Repeat until the dough is gone. Cook in salted water at a vigorous boil for 3-4 minutes.

*Wolf Among Wolves, A Better Angel, Illusion of Return, and Both Flesh and Not. Riven Rock was very good, although not Boyle's best. I'm excited for something different.
**I know, the mixed units annoyed me, too.
***The KitchenAid attachments are surprisingly expensive! To be fair, a cheap, one-diameter pasta maker runs around $30.

Oops

So yeah, the blog renaissance ended quickly. But I've had so much going on! For instance, glomus tumors had been on my mind for a whole week, and I despaired at never getting the chance to answer a USMLE question on such a minute detail. And then one fine, frigid day, one popped up in a question block! These are the stories of the USMLE Enterprise, ladies and gentlemen. Thrilling adventure! Mind-blowing exploits!

Really, though, it was mostly studying, punctuated by an exciting visit to the ER when Andy's thumb had a run-in with our mandoline and a good amount of junk food*, and not much cooking. Or vegetables. There were a few bright points, though. For instance, I made Japancini, or Japanese arancini, using forbidden rice and adzuki bean puree. The structural integrity of the egg-yolk ones was somewhat lacking, but I discovered that fried egg yolk is delicious! There aren't any pictures because they went straight out of the skillet into Andy's gullet, but here's some cool forbidden rice.

And then the biscuit sandwiches. Oh, buttermilk biscuits. With a few tricks, you are so fluffy and delightful, and then I can put veggie sausages and molded fried eggs on top of you for a deceptively commercial-looking sandwich!





I cannot tell you how delicious these were. Again, though, structural integrity was somewhat lacking. Next time I'm scrambling the eggs to avoid the yolk-soaked bread issue.



Finally, we come to things I actually made today, complete with a recipe for rosemary balsamic glazed almonds. But first, belated Valentine's cupcakes!





The toppers are red velvet cookies with white chocolate hearts.



And then a salad with romano, lemon juice, balsamic-glazed walnuts, and a perfectly poached egg thanks to PoachPods**.





*My mother-in-law sent us a care package containing, among other things, these Brookside dark chocolate pomegranate bites. Because they were from Costco, the bag was enormous. Andy and I polished it off in about two days. It's not candy if there's fruit juice in it, right?
**Andy's mom also sent us these. They're great. I'm extremely skeptical of this sort of $9.99-and-up type of cookware, but man, this is my new favorite space-efficient gadget.

Innovation

In the interests of showing Andy what he missed, I've been remaking a number of recipes I already posted here; thus the prolonged period between posts. Before the food, a little fun:

I did embarrassingly poorly on this.

This is amazing. I was on my obstetrics night float week at the peak of "Call Me Maybe"'s popularity. Perhaps New York City's Top 40 station figured nobody in her right mind would be awake and listening to the radio for more than 30 consecutive minutes at 3 a.m.*, because that song was on at least twice per hour. I got a little excited about some of the parodies. Baseball players be damned, this is the best by far.

And last but not least, Andy has come up with his wackiest and most entertaining get-rich-quick scheme** to date: Chopped: Philosophy Edition. Four unknown, poverty-stricken, aspiring young philosophers--likely from the New York metropolitan area--would go head-to-head to compete for $10,000. They would be provided with four "ingredients" that must be included in a philosophical argument, to be constructed within 20 minutes; the first item would be the principle or idea that the other three had to be used to refute or support. A library would be provided for references, but of course, the more the philosopher knows, the more time s/he has to construct an argument rather than look up ideas. Of course, philosophers could be criticized for insufficient use of the "ingredients" as much as they could for weak argument or oration skills. Andy's first combination was the Sartrian concept of judgment, Boethius's ladder of being, and pragnanz. A basket of pastry goes to the winner. Ready? Go!

Nearly a year ago--March 28, 2012, to be exact--my mother forwarded a recipe from a friend of hers. This friend, Myfriendnancyfrompittsburgh*** had obtained, from a book by a popular physician and diet guru, a recipe for cashew and date salad dressing. I am highly skeptical of most pop medicine, especially if it involves diets that purport to make diabetes vanish in 30 days (really, people? 30 days?), but it sounded delicious. So I fiddled with it a little bit, and this is what I ended up with:

Puree 2/3 cup raw cashews, 6 dried dates, 1 cup water, 3 small or 2 good-sized cloves garlic, the juice of 2 limes, 2 tablespoons apple cider vinegar, 2 tablespoons Dijon mustard, and salt, pepper, and cayenne to taste. Soaking the nuts and dates in the water makes the dressing even smoother. That's it.

The recipe for the entire salad follows. It's actually quite pretty, but we were too busy making the guinea pigs jealous with our piles of arugula to take a picture. Instead, here's an adorable owl!

Salad
1 recipe dressing as above
2 red bell peppers
1 large cucumber
1 pound tofu
paprika and cumin
lots of arugula

Cut the tofu into 1-by-1-by-1 cm cubes. Toss with lots of paprika, a little bit of cumin, and the tiniest bit of salt. Spread in a single layer on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper. Bake at 325, tossing occasionally, until golden brown. Turn the oven up to broil. Halve the red peppers and lightly spray them with olive oil. Put them through red pepper hell in the broiler until they're devilishly blistered. Meanwhile, slice the cucumber. Toss the arugula with dressing to taste and top in pretty ways with the vegetables and tofu.

*They're sort of right. Night float was amazing, though.
**A number of you may be familiar with these. Another recent one: peddling left-handed jars to rich left-handed people.
***This is how Mom always mentions her. Every time.

Peroration

A friend and I recently had a study break conversation about doctors whose personal lives are featured on the Internet. This was in the context of a discussion about physicians who serve niche populations and whose patients would, if anything, trust them more upon discovering their shared interests; we agreed that in that context, an unusually public private life is not a problem. I could bloviate about this for too long... but it doesn't take particular profundity of thought to realize that in the vast majority of cases, if a patient searches your name, it is to your benefit to have only professional links available*. And that, ladies and germs, is why I'm posting a picture of someone else's calves on my beautiful brand-new foam roller.



These are used for post-workout myofascial release. The jury is still out** as to the benefits of foam rolling, but I am ignoring the wishy-washy evidence because it feels so very good (once you get over the fact that you're rolling around on the floor moaning in happiness).

Since I'm very, very tired and want to get through another question block before bed, here's the abbreviated food happenings of late:

Homemade pad thai with green beans and chewy tofu. Talk about restaurant food at home.

Lime and coconut pound cake, made with cornmeal for a little added texture.

Guinea pigs enjoying parsley al fresco.



Also, I just discovered that Picasa's online photo autofix tool is pretty decent and makes cakes look edible even after a photoshoot in bad lighting. Maybe if I'd used it before I would never have nauseated my loyal readership***.

 *Sure enough, a quick Google search of some NYU physicians revealed a number of Facebook profiles and other personal pages. Nothing offensive, of course! In fact, there were several very impressive triathlon finishes among the results.
**This is not the only article available, obviously. A number of studies have provided conflicting results on whether foam rolling increases the range of motion of various joints, recovery of various muscles, and so on.
***of ten.

Derivative

This past weekend, we went to a great NY Philharmonic concert that included Bruckner's sixth symphony*. Not to be all "get off my lawn," but what is with people leaving a concert in the middle of a piece? Yes, it's a long piece. Yes, it's not the most accessible symphony in the world. No, it's not acceptable to gather your things and shuffle out when you get bored. Kids these days**.

Studying all day and, at the end of the day, feeling like you haven't studied hard enough. It sucks, if you'll pardon my French. It's also creativity-sapping. If anyone wants to pop by my apartment with a roll of white butcher paper and some finger paints***, you'd make Graham Wallas dance in his grave, but in the meantime, I'll be following New York Times recipes verbatim.

Well, almost verbatim. I added lemon juice and premade veggie sausages. And it was delicious.

 

Our forks were dirty. I eat more slowly with chopsticks, anyway.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to coloring between the lines.

*This piece happens to be one of my iPod standards, but it will never again be on a jogging playlist after an unfortunate realization that it's stumble-inducing.
**And by kids, I actually mean the 50-and-over set.
***Or one of these!