The many purposes of OkCupid

In order of importance:

1. Setting up hookups
2. Enabling me to procrastinate via blog.okcupid.com
3. Enabling friends around the world to compete for Creepiest Message Received
4. Enabling friends around the world to mock prime examples of duckface
5. Setting up meaningful relationships

This MD stomach is family-friendly, so I apologize for the more, hrm, tart content of the blog, but this thing is hilarious, not to mention pretty to look at. Faux science is such fun! Emphasis on observations about what makes a dating site profile picture attractive and why Lithuanians appear more willing to participate in bedroom enactments of a certain kind of fantasy.

Are we still family-friendly? No? Sigh. Kids these days.

So I asked Andy to pick up some soba on his way home from class* in order to make cold noodles with dipping sauce and a broccoli, tofu, and cashew stir-fry. Instead of the long, thin buckwheat noodles I envisioned, he brought home chuka soba from the Washington Square m2m. I was forced to make crispy chuka soba nests topped with broccoli, tofu, and cashew stir-fry instead.

The horror, Andy, the horror. Forty lashes with a wet noodle, variety to be determined. That'll teach you.

Chuka soba nests with vegetables

N.b.: I recommend trying to fry the noodle nests and make the sauce simultaneously.

1 package chuka soba

1 small head broccoli

5 carrots

1 package extra-firm tofu

1 cup miso broth

1 tbsp soy sauce

1/2 tbsp sugar, or 1/4 tbsp Splenda

2 tbsp mirin

1 tbsp cornstarch, dissolved in 1 tbsp water to make a slurry

salt, pepper, Sriracha to taste

toasted cashews and chopped scallions for garnish

Blanch the vegetables, dice the tofu, and set aside. Boil the chuka soba 4 to 5 minutes or until al dente. Toss with sesame oil and allow to cool until it can be handled. Heat 3 tablespoons canola oil in a skillet. Form small portions of the noodles into nest shapes and fry until golden brown on each side. To make the sauce, brinch the miso, soy, sugar, and mirin to a gentle simmer, then gradually stir in the cornstarch slurry. Bring to a gentle boil and whisk constantly, cooking until it is reduced and thickened. Add salt, pepper, and Sriracha to taste. Mix in the vegetables and tofu. To serve, spoon vegetables, tofu, and sauce over a noodle nest, then sprinkle with cashews and scallions.

*Yes, he has a Saturday class. If you want to send a sympathy card, let me know, the cheesier the better.