Monday, September 2, 2013


I'm going to tell a very embarrassing story about myself. Perhaps airing it will strip it of its humiliating power.

One day about a year ago, Andy made a comment about me lifting a ton, or 2000 pounds, over the course of a workout. This is the conversation that followed:
Don't sell me short, it's two tons!
...Hannah, how much is a ton?
One thousand pounds.
No. No, it's two thousand.
What? Oh. [beat] Oh my god, Andy, dinosaurs were really big!

He likes to reference that conversation, as you might imagine, but I also have my own "dinosaurs were really big" moments. For instance, contemplate the Hubble Deep Field images. Meditate both on its size, its relative tininess, and the fact that some of the stars in that picture were dead long before their light reached earth*. Gnarly, dude.

One of my favorite sandwiches used to be a BLT. Crisp bacon, juicy tomatoes, a tiny swipe of mayo, with the freshness of lettuce and yielding crunch of toast... Alas, vegetarianism put a stop to that. Ever since, I've been using tempeh bacon or Morningstar brand veggie bacon. Morningstar has the flavor (with a tinge of artificiality), but a weird, crumbly texture. The tempeh has neither the flavor nor the texture. Both are pretty processed, to boot. So when I saw a recipe for mushroom "bacon," I got really excited.

Damn online photo editor isn't working.

I increased the amount of both soy sauce and oil and added smoked paprika and just a touch of brown sugar. It was delicious, although I'd recommend actually buying and slicing whole fresh chantarelles and/or oyster mushrooms. The other varieties in the blend I bought didn't have nearly as nice a texture.

The bread is a homemade whole wheat and flaxseed loaf.

There's a swipe of Greek yogurt under all that veg.

Pound for pound, the price of mushroom bacon and store-bought fake bacon are approximately equivalent, although this of course depends on the season and your local farmers' market. The mushrooms win in the naturalism department. Overall, I'd say the extra work is worth it.

*On the other hand, there's really only one way to define what's true now, and that's what's true here. Shut up and feel the wonder.

1 comment:

  1. Loved it, but boy, you have to be careful about your links! You almost lost a reader to the Hubble Deep Field!