Vive le roi (de sandwichs!)

I am only a little ashamed to admit that Andy and I are voracious fans of Food Network Star (formerly Next Food Network Star). We faithfully watch it on Hulu on a four-day delay. Tonight, we were gratified to find that our favored contestant, self-proclaimed Sandwich King Jeff, won over a contestant who inexplicably made the judges quiver with satisfaction but to us was laughably artificial. I mean, seriously, not only did she look and talk like a Muppet, there was actually a clip in the finale of her reciting in Spanish with all the dramatic flair of an amateur telenovela her father's declaration that he came to America to give her a better life. Please.

So, Jeff the Sandwich King, we dedicate to you the Most Difficult to Eat Sandwich Ever, with a side of steamed cabbage with (very) spicy peanut-lime dressing.

Take a slice of avocado brioche, the best healthification of a really indulgent bread I could possibly imagine.

Add a Mark Bittman-inspired panko-crusted lentil-and-vegetable cutlet*, flavored with cayenne and Korean fermented black bean paste.

Top with homemade pickled ginger, a slice of the most perfect peach of my summer thus far, and a slice of cooling avocado.

Attempt (and fail) to eat with dignity. Declare a successful, if amateur, homage to the Sandwich King.

*How to Cook Everything Vegetarian, p. 661